Love and Life

Drained, Emotionally exhausted; Love tank running on Empty

How do you refuel when your tank is empty?
I reckon you would go to the source.

I believe love is a being and a doing, not a state of feeling

How do you give when you have nothing left to give of yourself?

You’re extending yourself to full capacity and working in overdrive…

Your fuel is on reserve and sooner you could burnout if you do not refill.

I’ve learnt that our capacity to love isn’t because we’re such love beings, or because we’re loved of others.

Yes, often we love because we’re first loved. But our ability to love doesn’t come from ourselves or others, but from the one who shed His love abroad in our hearts.

So what do you do when you find yourself in a state where you just can’t extend yourself anymore?

Knowing you can only give what you have. You can’t give from an empty source.

I’d use the scenario of a tap and a tank.

Are we connected to the source? The source of love? The love being?

We’re like taps, we’re dispensers of God’s love to the world but we can only give if we’re connected to a pump, an eternal source capable of constantly filling our souls so we’re never running on empty.

We would fail if we rely on our own ability or the ability of others.

God’s love for you is the cake, love from others is just the icing. You would definitely feel starved feeding only on icing.

I used to think myself this love being with an overwhelming capacity to love, like I just had so much love in me to give. Like I could just keep giving of myself regardless of the stance of others. Till I found myself stretched thin having given all that I had left in me and coming up empty.

Then I realized I’d isolated myself from the pump, having been disconnected from my source. I just kept running on a reservoir tank never refilling myself till I ran on empty.

Our love tanks are our hearts. Our taps are the avenues by which we express and dispense the love dwelling in us, we give by our words and actions

Love is being and doing.

A reservoir is exactly what it’s meant to be; a reserve, an outlet. Not the main supply. We’re sure to run empty relying only on it.

Just like you’d ideally refuel your car tank before it’s empty or recharge your phone or laptop before the battery dies, we’re meant to do the same for our hearts. Ensuring we’re always connected is a way to guarantee supply.

So how do you know when to recharge yourself?

What’s the parameter or criterion for which to gauge your Heart?

The love barometer you may ask?

I’d say one sure telltale sign I’ve observed over time, like a flashing neon light to my brain is: APATHY

Now, this can be a subtle sign that may go unnoticed if you’re not self-aware or mentally aware.

It’s why I recommend regular periods of personal reflection, inward introspection to reveal the state of your heart at any given time.


  1. Complete lack of emotion or motivation about a person, activity, or object; lack of interest or enthusiasm; indifference.
  2. Basically a lack of mental and or emotional energy. You find yourself not caring for things you used to and loosing interest.

Another telltale sign, one more easily noticeable is the characteristic of being IRRITABLE (easily annoyed, frustrated…).

How do you then refill?

I’d suggest a few series of steps to take.

  • Take a step back from the world, a time of calmness and solitude would help with reevaluation.
  • Turn off all of the noise, the distraction, the media. Just pause if only for a while.
  • Are you biting on more than you can chew? In over-extending yourself beyond your natural capacity, you burnout. Shed some of the excess burdens you’re carrying if possible, reassign or delegate or simply lay it down.

In caring too much about everything, you could start to find yourself not caring about anything

  • Self-care is very important. Tend to yourself. A beauty skin treatment, spa session, whichever form of therapy would work for you.
  • A few days of personal retreat, perhaps camping? To truly commune, meditate with the Word, with the Father, to pray. For I have found prayer to be an extremely edifying spiritual exercise. It rejuvenates the soul. So take a moment to bask in our God who is love personified.

He never wants you running on empty, He’s ever willing to fill you up, till you’re bursting forth like a fountain that won’t run dry.

Check yourself today. What is the state of your heart?

Then, do the needful.

Love and Grace,

© Zizi 2019


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