Are you a bad texter? Have your friends complained about your texting habits?
Do you wish you could communicate better with friends?
Do you struggle with a slow response time?
Read on to find out how to get better.
We’re a generation that suffers from poor or should I say low attention span.
Our attention keeps shifting drastically from one thing to the other and then the next. Eyes darting to and fro, it’s hard to keep a single focus. We find ourselves multitasking on the go and trying to do multiple things at once that we end up getting very little things done at the end of the day.
Unfortunately, this also affects our communication style.
It turns out that we all have different preferences when it comes to the choice of conversation mode, some prefer spoken form; either through a phone call, video call, voice notes, while others might be more like me who prefer the written form; texts, chats, handwritten notes and what have you…
However, the thing is that when you’re in some form of association with someone whose style differs from yours, some form of compromise and learning need be exercised for the greater good.
Ideally, one should be great at both, but normally, one can be great at one, good at the other, or simply good at both forms, but never bad at either or both. That’s not acceptable for a healthy lifestyle.
On this post though, I would be talking about the written form, not the spoken, since that’s where I lean towards more.
It can be annoying when you type a whole paragraph text, and you get a one-word reply. I’m sure some of us can relate to this. Or you send a message and it’s read without any response, or perhaps it’s actually unread, but it takes them two days to respond. The most annoying case scenario is one where they’re visibly online, doing other stuff like posting, liking things, and tweeting or retweeting… Then you wonder, ‘what the heck? if they could do all these things definitely they could do better at texting’. Yeah, you might be right to assume this.
I’d briefly highlight a few things:
- It’s all about priority. Who and what you prioritize. For me, I think that’s the most important factor. If you value someone or something, you spend your time on it. That’s the measure of value. You show your friends you value them by being intentional with communication whatever form it is they prefer. It’s all about putting yourself out there, for the sake of others, going outside your comfort zone, because you truly value something.
- Some might have the notion of ‘This is just the way I am, I can’t change, I’m simply a bad texter or just not interested.’ I think that this is a really big lie. Everyone is amenable or adaptable to change. This is the one true constant thing in life. I believe its not all about interest in a particular activity, but more about interest in the person(s) involved in doing that activity. This is true for love relationships, couples find themselves doing stuff they do not generically like, but they do it anyway because they’re doing it with their partner, it makes their partner happy and fosters the relationship. They value the person and would thus love to spend time doing what the person loves, whatever that is.
There are basic texting etiquettes to abide with:
- Avoid using too many stickers and emojis especially in serious conversations, except the other party is cool with it.
- Don’t use abbreviations unnecessarily, or when it’s ambiguous and the meaning can’t be properly understood. After all, the essence of communication is to understand and be understood appropriately.
- If you’re busy or need a break during the conversation, do try to take an excuse rather than leave the person hanging and wondering what happened or if something went wrong.
- When someone sends you a paragraph, don’t just skip over and give a one-liner as the response. If you don’t have the patience to read it, ask to get back to it later when you’re calmer and more relaxed to do so. Communication should be deliberate and intentional.
- If for any reason, all else fail perhaps due to some absent-mindedness, and you find yourself stonewalling a person, or ghosting without meaning to be rude, do have the decency to sincerely apologize as soon as you can get to it.
What tips do you have for improving your own texting habits or that of someone else?
Love and Grace,
© Zizi 2020.
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