Love and Relationships

The Hidden Self

We’re all wearing masks. I don’t mean it in just the literal sense, but also figuratively.

While we wear physical masks, how about the masks we wear for our souls?

We sometimes don a facade to avoid baring our true selves, the core identity we carry.

Have you ever been surprised by a person’s true face beneath a mask? I know I have severally. Realizing what you imagined is vastly different from the actual reality. If it’s that easy to be superficially confused, imagine how much is then hidden of a personality that can’t be seen.

The social trend these days has got lots of people just faking it. The whole ‘fake it till you make it ideology’ has got folks pumped up in a dystopian society.

What exactly are we living for if nothing is real anymore if the choices we make are left based on self-deception or what we hope to be perceived as which is something we’re not.

It sometimes feels like everyone is acting cinderella and playing dress-up just until the clock strikes midnight again and reality sets in. Living such dual personas can be exhausting I would think. Do we simply live our lives to impress, just so we can be accepted? It’s cool and trendy and so you hop on that train, heading God knows where.

It’s really sad when we choose to just follow the path defined by others instead of carving out our own.

Original quote by author

I wonder where we lost the art of having down to earth honest conversations. Beyond putting up a front and bearing a facade to avoid being ridiculed, because you fear rejection. These days, with a few clicks of a button, people get exposed in their worst states, when they’re down on their luck and have hit rock bottom. Society just wants something or someone to laugh at, not caring anymore.

We’re aghast at the steep rise in suicide rates and depression statistics, it shouldn’t come as a shock anymore with the present incidence of antisocial connections. Social media isn’t social at all. There’s always just that invisible wall put up, that barrier that makes it so easy to mask up and hide in an instinctive act of self-preservation.

I wish we can just lose the whole hype culture. I believe it’s so toxic. No one seems to understand humanity and its problems anymore. We’re so lost hyping each other and it’s all so fake. Amid all the hype, authenticity has lost its play. People find it harder to be genuine about who are they, what they have and where they’re at.

I’ve learned that shutting people out, hiding from the world, staying holed up in your little cocoon, building extra layers of shell/skin or thick walls doesn’t do one any good in the long run. Opening up can be downright scary, but you should give Yourself the chance to live again.

We as humans were built and designed for connection that is true, deep and sincere. It may take a few fails and falls along the way, but the journey of finding authentic connections is most definitely worth it. So, therefore, it’s time to let the mask down (figuratively). Let people in, you could start with just someone, but you have to start somewhere.

Relationships change, people grow distant when physically apart for a while. They also evolve into different aspects of their personality and may even develop new traits. All these affect the state of trust and bonding. Can two people evolve together? Or would be said changes cause friction and result in the gradual withering and eventual death of the relationship? Such things aren’t predictable, it might be hard to decipher if to move on or struggle to put the pieces back together, and sometimes, it might be difficult to simply accept that things may never go back to the way they used to be and this is just part of life’s inevitables.

If you’re someone like me, who finds it hard to bond online, I just think a physical connection beats anything that can be cultivated online, it’s just more personal and feels real rather than a mirage. It’s been difficult lately to have that, but of course, we have to make do and stay connected regardless, we might suffer a bit but humans are the most adaptable species, we’re wired to flow with change.

Remember, I care about your mental and emotional health.

Image Source: Unsplash

Love and Grace,

© Zizi, 2021.


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